Book Review || She's a Lamb! (2025)
"Jessamyn St. Germain is meant to be a star. Not an actor who occasionally books yogurt commercials and certainly not a lowly usher at one of Vancouver’s smallest regional theaters."
: 🌕 : SPOILER ALERT : 🌕 :
It is important to note that most of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the book's subject matters & those detailed in my review overwhelming. I suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters that contain reflections on financial insecurity, graphic depictions of self-harm, the physical endangerment of children, rape, sexual abuse, violent crime, bigotry, & others.
“Here he sits, ready to take my dreams and extinguish them underneath the weight of his desire. When you really think about it like that, really consider it, his desire, his panting wanting for me is nothing better than hatred.”
Succumbing to trends may lead one to lose oneself in the sludge. Certainly, trends may serve some purpose, be beneficial, & advocate for insight & intellectualism. Rarely do trends spur from thin air though, often they are carried away on the whims of those who wander with their eyes closed. The literary climate has not been particularly harsh towards trends in the past decade. Numerous novels have coveted the same plots with characters cultishly similar, one from the other. Yet, readers regale the patterns they find comforting, familiar, & easy to consume.
In the last five years, I have had the pleasure & twilight blaring experience of reading books that present twinklingly familiar plots with characters whom I can hardly distinguish from their strange counterparts. This is an unfortunate situation. I struggle to understand how publishing houses have encouraged so many writers in the same direction. Readers are likely to appreciate a book that comes their way; the right reader will adore it & the wrong reader will glare at faults, flaws, & holes with aplomb & precision. I find myself in the latter group.
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In essence, this is a story about Jessamyn, a twenty-six-year-old actress living in Vancouver who dreams about life as a celebrity. The plot follows Jessamyn as she auditions for roles that are outside her range of talent, spends time with two men she calls her boyfriends, & murders three people in a bid to take on the role of Maria von Trapp in her local production of “The Sound of Music” (1965). The story revolves around her distinctly decreasing mental stability & the environment that will leave readers wondering whether Jessamyn’s psychosis is a result of nature or nurture.
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When I came across this book, the cover art promised me great things. I will not be absurdly mean in this review & state that the promise was a lie or that the author failed to deliver any semblance of quality in her work. The truth is that I did appreciate certain aspects of this book but there is work yet to be done for the final product to reflect a unique story & one that was given the chance to shine.
As I said in the introduction, this is a story I have read before with a main character who is nearly identical to at least three other protagonists of the past five years. Due to this, the book does not have the opportunity to stand on its own two feet. Rather than regard the plot for what it is—a reflection of poor mental health & a series of abuses—the author has quaintly nestled the tale between other larger-looming characters with louder voices to speak on their tedium.
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I will begin with what I enjoyed, as is only fair. Jessamyn is not a common name in Canada—yet here comes the protagonist with an oddly lettered calling card believing herself the roll off the tongue that will leave her a star on the Walk of Fame. As odd as Jessamyn is, overall, Hambrock understood who her main character was & this is apparent throughout the story. The main character is flawed & cruel, she is ignorant but not naïve; while simultaneously being a raging lunatic, Jessamyn is also horribly insecure, so much so that she has veered to the extreme & developed a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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The dissection of the protagonist’s early life does not reveal too much & the reader will need to have a reason for reading this book or they might leave off feeling as I did, rather confused about why they read the story at all.
The familiar traits that I appreciated in other characters did influence my appreciation for the sheepishly cruel behaviour that Jessamyn exhibited. Her life was filled with a series of disappointments & occurrences wherein she was the victim of sexual assault.
However, I wondered if this was enough to lend my care to her plight. This is not meant to come across as pedantic & sardonically holier-than-thou, readers will need to ask themselves what makes Jessamyn either a hero or a villain, while quickly concluding that she will perhaps hold the middle ground until the end.
This seems silly to say because Jessamyn is a Serial Killer—by definition. Yet, her personality is so entirely ailed as a consequence of her experiences that one will be forgiven if one chooses to support Jessamyn throughout all of her antics.
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Rather than explore the duality of life as a person who persistently performs as someone other than themselves, the author relays Jessamyn’s experiences through a looking glass; gaunt & gleaming, too far away to actually understand, each of the sequences of events that take place off the page are mysterious to the plot & nearly do not matter enough to rank as traumatic events. Jessamyn was raised by a father who, though of a cold temperament, provided her with all of the necessities in life. She never needed for anything.
If one argues that Jessamyn is a born psychotic, her father’s distant behaviours due to long working hours & a bachelor status will not serve as odd indicators but rather, that the apple did not fall far from the tree. Though, one may need to look closely when dissecting Jessamyn’s childhood. She had everything she needed & yet she recalls watching “The Phantom of the Opera” (1909) on Broadway & feeling cured of her sadness. What would have made her feel such sorrow?
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There is no way for the reader to know what would have led Jessamyn to embody sadness as she describes it. Her mother could have died; her schoolmates could have bullied her; her house might not have had central air; the list is long & the possibilities, are endless.
What matters here is that the main character wanted to be the protagonist in everyone’s life. As the online community has flourished in recent years, Jessamyn would have found herself well-placed among those who suffer from Main Character Syndrome.
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Forgetting the world around her by performing musical feats which she was ill-equipped to attempt, left her fascinated by the power of music & the freedom of a person to disappear in the lives of others. It is odd that Jessamyn had so much confidence in her talents, or lack thereof, as no one in her environment, for years, led her to believe that she was worth anything.
This leads me to ponder the psychosis that Jessamyn developed. Throughout her childhood, she was never faced with the poverty she forced on herself in adulthood. Certainly, one may argue that her father was cruel for withdrawing his financial backing from her casual career pursuits but, one must not forget that she stole his money to pay someone random to help her learn how to sing better. She did not have to go hungry but chose to do so in spite of everything she knew existed around her; having seen everything her father’s money could buy. Why did she do this?
Which part of this character’s makeup led her to make the choices that she did? Her end goal was clear from the beginning; she wanted fame. This is not unusual, especially with the insecurity & waning interests of the general population when it comes to internet sensations. Yet, Jessamyn chose a dying industry—rather, a niche industry where one needs to be particularly & exuberantly talented, well-connected, & skilled to succeed. Why did she not view stardom as it is regarded now? Why is her perception of fame so antiquated?
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As the story progressed, I did find myself feeling pity towards Jessamyn. Every time she thought she was on the right path, she floundered. Her vocal teacher was a hack, her aspirations were being squashed compared to the talent around her, every time she auditioned.
Why would she think herself capable of breaking through in an industry that relied on the tools she did not want to use? Why wasn’t Jessamyn able to be honest with herself & acknowledge that she just wasn’t good enough to make it to Hollywood?
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As always, I must ask who the book is for. For its stark similarities to other popular novels, the target reader might be found among the slew of easy readers who nibble on chips of any wooden beam that floats their way.
The current trend in literature that presents a deranged female main character who has traits of the sullen, morbid, trauma that encases her, has been found in the work of: Jen Beagin’s “Big Swiss” (2023), Ainslie Hogarth’s “Motherthing” (2022), Emily Austin’s “Interesting Facts About Space” (2024), Mona Awad’s “Rouge” (2023), Bea Seatton’s “Plaything” (2024), & Elliott Gish’s “Grey Dog” (2024).
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Masquerading as hilariously as Gacy in his clown suit, the story attempts to present the complexities of existence & salivates over the possibility that any person could be a killer in disguise. However, I cannot help but feel this is untrue. Though Jessamyn, with her life of exuberant wealth, privilege & freedom to choose to go hungry, to pursue violent men, to pursue a low-paying job in a high-rent city, & to revel in the error of her ways without consequence, blooms in a city that offers her the opportunity to diverge from the path she selected on the road she walks, few appear as gaunt as she, in reality.
Unkind as this conclusion might be, it remains true. Jessamyn did not deserve to be sexually abused nor did she deserve to be stalked or harassed. Perhaps there is an earnest pursuit in her reaction to these situations but, pulling a knife to the throat of an innocent child has vetoed Jessamyn’s freedom to pretend that her decisions were not her own to make.
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No star shines brighter than one in hiding as it keeps itself warm amongst the throttle of poachers. Readers will note the passing of time as the pages draw to a close accompanied by a void of detail that would sneak the genre through mysterious performances into the range of terror that wallowed in the Austrian society during the rise of the Nazi Party.
This is too complex a reflection, Jessamyn views Maria von Trapp as purity & ease whereas in reality, she is a human being with emotions who fled the country that was her home when it was taken over by ideology that she did not feel represented her own.
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Ultimately, I am not disappointed in this book as much as I am confused by the need to inflict repetition upon a reader. For readers who have found enjoyment in the new-age linguistic quickening of the tongue with the amputation of profound pensiveness, will surely seethe with pleasure when encountering this book.
The author has them in mind, this is evident, & I should hope they appreciate the ghoulish nature of the character, the meandering of an unresolved series of events, & the tormented sprinkling of bigotry; mirroring the reality of their own societies, which they may choose to acknowledge or ignore.
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This will not be my last round of time spent with this author. I believe they are capable of more depth than the seabed that has cracked to plates already served. Regardless of the smoothness of this story, which did not offer me the challenge I hope to find when reading about complex individuals & their paraplegic nature; my afternoon of reading was well-spent. I consumed a book—an activity I enjoy almost as much as the doomed & desecrated monsters cherish the face paint that clouds the grooves of lunacy they’ve carved into their skin.
Thank you to NetGalley, ECW Press, & Meredith Hambrock for the free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
C. 💌